subtly sultry under layers maybe it's just me my heads are lost in the clouds over her but not yet proud how do you pull it off? humble, quiet, soft with an edge embodied guilty pleasure busy, but not, socially dead headaches crash with unbridled pressure my head is lost in the clouds over her but somehow found how do I let myself fall? my head is lost in the clouds over her but not yet proud adolescence chemistry's bitch anxiety flowing flipping the switch how do you pull it off?

I'm sorry that I couldn't get my act together I'm sorry I've been hanging on for what feels like forever I'm sorry for believing things could be okay I'm sorry for not looking into what you said and what you did I'm willing to forgive you if I know you'll listen but I don't trust you enough to care are you only here to forever spite me? I'd object if I knew there was something there lost in your own little world I'm lost in mine too I never said I was sorry but that doesn't mean a thing to you you couldn't confront me but still I let you lie whining and crying for 26 weeks still I haven't heard your side like an ugly duckling never made it to a swan doe-eyed dame, living life in a game never seeing dawn I'm willing to forgive you if I know you'll listen but I don't trust you enough to care are you only here to forever spite me? I'd object if I knew there was something there lost in your own little world I'm lost in mine too Tara, I never said I was sorry but that doesn't mean jack shit to you

are you comfortable, knowing what I know? knowing that you don't care to share my beliefs are you okay with me? do I annoy you? I'd like to know you're safe but I'd like to enjoy you scared to expose my real feelings for you scared to expose prepare to implode are you comfortable knowing what I know? knowing you can't escape the truth do you mind me? do you mind me at all? I'm not okay with me could you spend some time with me?

I don't know what I expected out of touch and disconnected winding down the days until the end of winter careful not to touch the fallen mope forever, all backs turned deep depression, settle down I don't really think I miss her do I really want to care? I don't think it's worth the trouble going over this again was painful then, just boring now to cry about a broken friend I lower all my expectations just to make the damage hurt less doesn't mean that I'm immune maybe I'll be okay soon

the sun beats down on the carpet mold glossy-eyed girl with a taste for gold sober and sane, nowhere to be takes a shot at the wall, where the mirror used to be ready to implode, ready to burst unsure if she'll crack or check in first hands reaching for the bottle, but pulling away for the ammunition's limited, but the drinks can stay burned out, inertia in full bloom light fixtures dangling, burning the broom but there's nothing to clean, no reason to try she chose long ago to just watch herself die witness protection doesn't do her shit no scene or identity ever seems to fit the glass is looking pretty as she bombs another wall no regards to the sleeping couples down the hall crisis diverted, but in comes the war the battle of sobriety from before will she crack, contain her condition, well? is she staying in middle ground, or flying to hell? business is bad, she's out of stock lack of interest, lack of cock with only TV and mattresses to keep her okay we knew she was going to crack any day she grabs the glass, without hesitation no time for a quick thought of realization she's going to die today, and she doesn't care that train's long gone, to god knows where in minutes, she's broken, all hope is lost with no moral compass, no lines can be crossed grabs all the old drugs from the toilet tank dedicates her heroin to the city bank lost in a fog of smoke and vapor mixing drinks with her ghosts in the rolling papers too far gone to get her back too far gone, too out of whack heads to the balcony, looks below once-grassy fields now coated with snow knocks back another acid pill, ready to fly but before she goes, she curls up and cries where'd all the time go? wasted and ashamed no one to look for, she deserves the blame destroyer of good cause, upbringer of sex lost three years fucking, hooked on X lights another cigarette to try to bring herself back overstocked on rope and loaded with crack with nothing to lose, everything was lost she took off her shoes and threw them into the frost forever a burden on peace and love ready to live forever above looking down at the snow, she positioned to fly before she landed for the last time, she closed her eyes

I fear a second coming of missteps toward a lying passion I think I am in love but I think it's an illusion quite the grand delusion wrestle with my fears crying sugary tears I feel a storm cloud moving here to where I stand backed by popular demand here I deny my allies tell them it's okay I can't wait to kill myself could happen any day I can't wait to die save the tears, she won't cry sure can't wait to die kick me in the face I can't wait

all that I say is true I wouldn't lie to you but maybe I might accidentally stretch the truth what could I ever do to hide the truth from you?

I haven't said a word until now at which point I'll regret everything I say I haven't said a thing until now if you already knew, well that's okay I'm not subtle and I don't surprise even someone's else eyes could tell you that I spent October with you on my mind the whole time /self-aware of vicious craving the epitaph of love I'm saving a state of fun foreshadowing my failure (self-aware of anxious craving this epithet of love I'm saving a state of failure, harrowing I'm failing)\

you seemed content last time I saw you almost as if you didn't know me I knew for sure, for sure I knew you but there was nothing new to see I'm colder in contrast to the me of them but it's not cold enough for a bat of an eyelash I'm still half asleep from our last encounter I only said four words was that enough to remind you even if that was all you heard?

are you comfortable in your current state? feeling content, or feeling hate let me know when you just can't wait I don't want to make a move, for fear of seeing you run two fine friendships, both all done how long will it be till the love is gone?

partial closure doesn't fit I think I've had too much of it although I'm willing to forgive I still don't think you'll let me live to tell the tale of how I fell and slid down stairs of living hell with no hands on the bottom stop to gladly catch me when I drop must I keep beating around this dead horse? not even feeling remorse now I'm only angry had the balls to lie to me, to save yourself so selfish, I was too but I never lied to you or cried to you, to guilt trip me live our dying fantasies alone everybody knew about me and about you why didn't you confront me? I wouldn't have minded then eat cowardice on paper plates drink bad excuses mixed with hate too shy to mention you're uncomfortable I'm sorry but I can't feel bad partial closure doesn't fit I think I've had too much of it although I'm willing to forget I'm not sure how much I'll regret my words